Ponderings
On the eve of the anniversary of our heroine’s birth.
Wrote this last night. Now you know why I don’t journal so often in a written notebook ;)
I am officially pushing thirty. What have I done in practically three decades on the planet? Why do I keep asking that question? It’s as though a person must be validated by their actions. Is that true? Do you measure someone by the things they accomplish? Do you measure them by the things they own and the company they keep? What does it mean when people come and go from their lives? What about the effort that’s put into holding on?
In the end, we’re all just the sum of our thoughts. Some of us think for ourselves. Some let others think for us. Most are somewhere in between.
I want to think up people and places. I want to imagine lives. I want to write of these things, but I seem to be addicted to wasting time instead.
I am the sum of twenty-nine years of squandered moments and wasted opportunities. Even now, I would go back if I could. I would start over.
Discussion
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Happy Birthday. I disagree, I would never go back. Why would I want relive all those moments that gave me such heartache.
You’ve done more then most. I think you are an amazing person. I’ve known you a good part of your life! I’m proud to call you a friend.
I think we are measured in how we affect the people in our lives.
I’m with Jennifer…no way I’d go back, especially not to high school. So far things have only gotten better. Look forward, my friend, and happy birthday!
I guess what I mean is, I would go back with the knowledge I have now and make things different. I wouldn’t worry so much about the things that aren’t important. Eh, regrets, I’ve had a few ;)
Thanks for the comments guys. Jen, thanks for boosting my ego, and Jeremy, for the bday wishes!
Not me. No amount of knowledge would change some of the things in my life. Like Kyle. I would still have wanted to have carried him and even loose him. I know that is weird but that moment in time, shaped me. The wonderful person you know now.
I think that you fail forward. The only way you can be well-rounded is if you have those experiences. I always tell my kids that they have to fall to know how wonderful it feels to get up! It’s all a huge learning process.
Besides, you haven’t done anything determental to society. You actually are doing good. I’ve heard in your 30’s you feel more comfortable with yourself. Let me know! I can’t wait to be 30! You know why? Because SRB is graduating when I’m 35! This means the first of the children will be capable of caring for himself! Good things are coming.
I think in you 30’s you should go overseas to Europe. This way you can tell me how it is. I want to go but I need to get my anxiety under control first. ; )
We can go through our 30’s together! Maybe one day I’ll have a house and you can come stay! We can party like rock stars! : )